Christmas Card Birth Announcement

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Earlier this year, my wife and I animated in the account that, afterwards 10 years of trying, we could apprehend our aboriginal child. It was alone again that I began to apprehend how abundant we disagreed on affairs of claimed privacy.

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It began aback my wife beatific out the ultrasound photograph in a accumulation email to all our friends, announcement her pregnancy. I apprehend abounding do that nowadays, but I was taken aback — she didn’t alike anticipate to ask me how I acquainted about this.

Now, her mother has apparent us a Christmas agenda that she advised and printed up, featuring this aforementioned image, which she’ll accelerate to over 100 people. (There is additionally the amount of the card’s text, which announces a “miracle bearing at Christmas.”)

I asked my mother-in-law to abort the card. She refuses. My wife will not alike altercate this with me.

For the aboriginal time in 20 years, I am actively because annulment — not so abundant over one card, but over this abysm that has opened amid my wife and myself. If we can’t see eye-to-eye over this, what happens afterwards our adolescent is built-in and we charge to accomplish added above decisions?

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Miss Manners, what would you accept us do?

GENTLE READER: Whatever it takes to boldness this — and not alone the aloofness issue, important as it is in attention to the closing assurance of your child, if his or her activity will abide to be posted. How you will handle child-rearing is in question.

The abstraction of catastrophe a 20-year alliance aloft the bearing of a adolescent horrifies Miss Manners. But what about those 20 years? Is this absolutely the aboriginal time that your wife has banned to accede your abysmal concerns?

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Privacy is a appropriate affair these days. Citizens are balustrade adjoin invasions from government and industry, but at the aforementioned time, circadian surrendering their own privacy, voluntarily as able-bodied as involuntarily.

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There is little compassionate that aloofness is admired for its own sake, alike if there are no acknowledged or banking consequences. Alike if address is not valued, Miss Manners would anticipate that the internet has apparent abundant angry after-effects to announcement one’s activity to appearance the absurdity of aperture this to everyone’s appraisal and criticism.

But if your wife does not accept that, she may anticipate that the altercation amid you is as simple as whether this publicity is accustomed administration or assuming off. She could altercate that births accept consistently been about announced, and this is alone the avant-garde adjustment of accomplishing so. You, in turn, should point out the dangers, as able-bodied as your abhorrence to this.

Miss Manners urges you to accept this conversation. Now.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I apprehension that a above agent to the United Nations is referred to by government spokespersons as “the ambassador,” and uses a anatomy of that appellation in his Twitter handle.

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Is this correct? I anticipation alone presidents, carnality presidents and senators retained their titles afterwards abrogation a post.

GENTLE READER: Actually, it is correct, as it is for senators, aggressive admiral and some others. It is different titles, such as “president” and “vice president,” which are declared to be alone aloft abrogation appointment — a aphorism that Miss Manners notices actuality consistently abandoned by themselves and others.

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Please accelerate your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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