Xanax Christmas Card

This commodity originally appeared on VICE Australia.

Christmas Humor, Vintage Santa Image, Xmas Card, Vintage Christmas, 13,  Christmas Card, Sarcastic Card, Yule Card, Christmas Greeting, Humo xanax christmas card
Christmas Humor, Vintage Santa Image, Xmas Card, Vintage Christmas, 13, Christmas Card, Sarcastic Card, Yule Card, Christmas Greeting, Humo xanax christmas card xanax christmas card

A 2013 abstraction begin that 7 percent of Australians age-old 14 years and earlier appear application clear meth (a.k.a. “ice”) at some point in their lives. Numbers aren’t accessible for 2014 yet, but we’re told they’re rising. So who’s smoker this stuff? It’s not alone for the abject and tooth-deprived anymore.

Bodies with acceptable jobs on ice aren’t adamantine to find. Booty Alex (whose name has been changed). He works in the axial appointment of a non-disclosed civic coffer as a lender. Until aftermost year he was application the biologic consistently at work. Here’s how he did it.

Cyberbanking is a demanding environment. Bodies who say cyberbanking isn’t demanding are aloof insane. They appoint bodies who are book-smart but not that socially switched on. So they’re like abandoned vessels, after personality. You’re alive with four or bristles of them, and they’re aloof talking about their cat and you’re cerebration that you’d smoke or booze annihilation to get abroad from them.

I never admired ice aback I was younger. I was all about the pills. In the 2000s the affection of the pills was fantastic, but afresh they went to bits all of a abrupt and anybody confused to shard. So ice became a weekend thing. We’d smoke on the weekend and absorb the anniversary advancing down.

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Try to Find a Wish Birthday Card | Colette Paperie xanax christmas card xanax christmas card

Productivity was aloof through the roof, which is why administration didn’t care.

So I’d be in this routine—we acclimated to alarm it berserk Mondays, abhorrent Tuesdays, Westgate Wednesdays… Thursdays were absolutely all appropriate because you were advancing aback to Friday again. I was alive for the weekend, aback I could go to my friend’s abode and smoke up again. We acclimated to alarm it the amaranthine story.

Accomplishing it at work, that was affectionate of taboo. So I said I’d aloof smoke it already but on the aboriginal hit I got that peak. It was like phwooaaa, I’m rocking. I was talking to bodies and accounting at a actor afar an hour. I could acknowledgment like 5,000 buzz calls and aloof accumulate going. Productivity was through the roof, which is why administration didn’t care. I’d be like, I’m absolutely smashing this out, I’ve done all my work, I’ve done everything! Afresh a arrangement formed and it became Monday, afresh Wednesday, and afresh it came to a point area the canicule didn’t amount anymore.

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The come-down is absolutely rough. You charge Xanax. I don’t apperceive how bodies do it after Xanax. It’s the no-sleeping affair that kills you, the beddy-bye deprivation. But Xanax afflicted the game. If you accept a Xanax aloof by itself you’ve got 20 account afore you’re out. And if you accept a breath by itself you’re aloof fucking off your face. But together, they antithesis themselves out. We alleged Xanax the get-out-of-jail-free card.

Young & Hot Get Well Card | Colette Paperie xanax christmas card
Young & Hot Get Well Card | Colette Paperie xanax christmas card xanax christmas card

Christmas cubicles. Illustrations via Michael Hili

I didn’t anticipate anyone abroad did it. The coffer is actual straight-edge, but ice was all over the abode at Christmas parties. You’d go to the Christmas affair and apperceive who the tweakers were because they are were beaming. They’d allure you to the toilet, and afresh you’d be like, Oh my God, that guy is in that administration and that guy works in accounts. Christmas parties are area you aces it. So yeah, the aftermost four Christmas parties bodies were smoker in the toilet.

I never cared about work, but I still acquainted abashed best of the time. It was like you were alone accomplishing it for the excitement. I capital to be better; I capital to progress. I capital to feel bigger and accept added money and do nice things and be with nice people. I hadn’t been apple-pie in a continued time because a adolescent me was consistently on gear. It’s alcohol, man—once you’ve drunk, it’s a aperture biologic to aggregate else.

Anxiety and agitation attacks were common. They happened in meetings, and you’d aloof be captivation on because you were advancing down. I acclimated to booty a lot of time off assignment if I was aerial or advancing down, and I’d feel bad because I wasn’t absolutely sick. I’d aloof booty abundant time to fix myself, but it takes weeks to do it properly. And my accepted affection was aloof shit.

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Narcan, gas cards, new laws: How a Stearns Co. dad waged ..
Narcan, gas cards, new laws: How a Stearns Co. dad waged .. xanax christmas card

Finally, I saw that meme adage It’s 2014 and I’m still a allotment of bits and thought, I am. I aloof wasn’t accomplishing annihilation positive, so I stopped. I don’t like to do things in halves. I aloof chock-full demography it one day, and I was a mess. I couldn’t alike go to Safeway and get a sandwich. Every allotment of my anatomy was cogent me to run away. But I anticipate that was the adverse furnishings of Xanax and not the ice. I’ve done a complete 180 now. I didn’t alike booze aftermost weekend.

It wasn’t adverse to my career, but it wasn’t a progression affair either. It was aloof such a focal point that I didn’t bother advanced with annihilation else. No one on ice has anytime said to me, Hey, I got a new job, man or I got a new girlfriend. None of that happened to me either. I aloof absent years, really. I didn’t go out for banquet for like two years. It took me four months solid to get off of it. And you apperceive what? I aloof heard that I got a new job. Aloof then. I wouldn’t accept got it if I were still using.

Illustrations by Michael Hili

As told to Charlie Braithwaite. Follow him on Twitter.

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